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I am sad about not having a strong family support, what should I do?

Dr Jitendra Nagpal
Senior Consultant Psychiatrist and Incharge of the Institute of Child Development and Adolescent Health at Moolchand Medcity, New Delhi

Q: My father left us when I was 1.5 years old. My mother is presently working in the medicine line in UK. I hardly share anything with her because she leaves everything to god. I don't feel like doing anything, but when I see any family I feel happy but sad at the same time. This is the reason I am always called an above average person. I feel that I have an intelligence, which is hidden. My colleagues laugh at my questions and feel that I am the foolest guy on earth. I console myself by thinking that they have the right to say this as their parents are with them and guiding them. And here I am who took the longest path and still don't know where to head. I have a girlfriend but I hardly share anything with her, as she might think that I always keep crying. Talking to her makes me feel good at times. But I don't like sharing things with her because I feel that nobody will understand my feelings. I stay absent minded these days tend to forget most of the things.

A:You seem to be very low on confidence and faith in yourself. It is understandable since you have had very low support from family but you must realise that you can build similar support from friends, close relatives and relations like your girlfriend. If you want your relationship to have a stronger base then sharing some of your feeling with her will be necessary but at the same time it is important to have your personal thoughts. Please try and build a stronger relationship with your mother if possible, even if you have to take the initiative. Don't expect this to immediately sort out as building of strong dependable relationships always takes time and effort which you must put into it. As far as parent guidance is concerned at 24 I am sure you along with others your age will learn and benefit most from personal experience and take this as a positive thing that you have struggled more and hence have an advantage over others your age. You must work on developing your abilities which you also feel you have within you, again this takes time so just take the first step now with having a more positive view of yourself. Since this is effecting your daily life immensely you must consider counselling at least for a brief period of time.