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I am attracted towards my colleague, what should I do?

Dr Samir Parikh
Director and Consultant,
Psychiatry,
Fortis Flt. Lt. Rajan Dhall Hospital, Vasant Kunj,
Fortis Hospital, Shalimar Bagh, Fortis Memorial Research Institute, Gurgaon

Q: I am 38 years old working as a senior manager in a software company. The relations with my secretary have always been professional, but off late I am attracted towards her. And the feeling is getting intense. I feel like spending more personal time with her and go out for tours. I want to spend time with her like a husband and wife would. In fact, once I planned an official trip with her abroad. She too behaves as if I am very close to her. Maybe because I am her boss. Many a times I help her with her financial problems or the official leave she needs etc. She is married, settled in life and so am I. I have a wife and two children, and I am living a perfect life with no complaints. I have good physical and emotional relation with my wife. I am feeling guilty about this attraction. Sometimes I feel like quitting the job and go else where, but that would be running away from the problem. One of the options I took up was, I enrolled myself for some port-graduate study. I finished half of my course successfully but it had no impact on my emotions towards my colleague. What is the best suggestion you give? Is this a common problem for person with my profile?

A:Attraction is normal, so there need not be guilty about it. What is more important is that how you handle this, and making sure that your handling this does not cause any harm to your life in the long term. You need to spend time with your wife, and family, and try and bring some joy to life. Its a matter of time, if you would not give in to the attraction, it wont last long.