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How do I make my son love me?

Dr S Anandalakshmy
Advisor on Child Development & Education,
Chennai

Q: I am a single parent going through a divorce case. I have 5 years old son, whom I love a lot. I leave my son at my parents’ home when I am out for work. Though my son has not lived with his dad much and his dad hasn't spent much time with him, he tends to have high regards for his dad. My son visits his dad once a month. His dad buys him whatever he asks for. I take my son to so many places and buy him as much as I can afford, he never calls me or talks to me as often as he calls his dad. He gets angry and emotional very soon and doesn't like me disciplining him. But I have to be a little stern because he is a very naughty boy. Please let me know how do I make my son love me?

A:What you describe is quite part of a pattern. The parent who spends less time becomes more valued and also because he gives presents and treats. Be glad that your son has a good relationship with his father. This is fortunate.Please do not start competing for your child’s affections. Your child will definitely know that you love him and that you will be there for him. (You could also say so in words, once in a while). He calls his father to feel assured that he is also there.If you have access to a Counselor or Psychologist, do feel free to consult her. I do not think that you or your son seem to be in need of professional help, but sometimes it helps to see your own situation objectively.