How can I make my wife feel comfortable with me?

Q: I am 36 years old man who got married recently. My wife is going to be 30. We both are divorcees and this is our second marriage. Before marriage we used to talk over the phone. After marriage she neither talks to me nor my parents except only when required. We both work in different cities and meet only once in a week. We have sex only on these days, that too not every time. Sometimes she resists me touching her or kissing her and this turns me off. I get hurt, angry and depressed. It has been four months since our marriage but still the comfort level is not great between us. I have tried asking her many times what the problem is but she skips the question. Off late she has told me that she doesn’t enjoy talking to me. I have always taken good care of her needs, showered love and affection on her, but somehow she doesn’t like all that. I am totally shattered. Please help.

A:Sorry to hear about your troubles. Your wife may be finding it difficult to adjust to new circumstances due to past experiences. Help her to understand self, have a clear communication with her, and suggest marital therapy.

At times seeing a counsellor may help her understand her current role and come to terms with past. It may help both of you to open up with your feelings.

Please look at your lifestyle as well; when you are under stress it is important to have adequate fluid, nourishing diet, as well as mental and physical activities.