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How can I improve my relations with my father?

Ms Arpita Anand
Consultant Psychologist,
New Delhi

Q: I am a 34 years old man psychologically depressed. My father does not want me to prosper in my career and always seeks my downfall. He takes pride when I am at rock bottom, which is my current status. I am in this condition for the last 12 years and now I consider him dead. Please advise.

A:I am sorry to hear how difficult things are for you. Having said that, I would urge you to address your concerns with your father. Since this is a significant relationship we are talking about, you must talk through these issues with him. It is unusual to note that a father would want your downfall. There is a risk that there is some miscommunication. Try and take the help of someone who you trust to mediate a conversation with your father. It could be your mother or a sibling or even a relative that you are close to.

If all talks fails, then you need to set your own goals and work towards that. As difficult as it may be to accept this situation, you must learn to focus on your own needs. There must be other significant people in your life. Seek their support and move forward. Good luck.