How can I help my child cope with his problems?
Advisor on Child Development & Education,
Chennai
Q: My son has many problems and I don't know where to start. He is almost 10 years old and is suffering from Attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), Pervasive development disorder (PDD), Obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD) and depression as well. He has been pulling his hair out for about 1 year now. I have tried everything to stop him from doing so. I don't know how to help him. His doctors said that there is nothing that can be done. He has a hard time learning in school and things don't come to him easily. He is right now taking Adderall XR 20 mg and Seroquel 100 mg in the in the morning and at night as well. The other drugs he is taking are Fluoxetine 20 mg, Hydroxyzine Pamoate 25 mg and Abilify 5 mg. I feel that this is a lot for a child and I am not sure if his doctor is helping him or has him on the right drugs. When my son what just 5 years old his father killed himself and my son what the first one to find him. How can this affect him now and how can I help him go on with his life with the right help? He has been lying to me about things and I don't understand why he would not just tell me the truth. He has been admitted to a mental hospital 3 times for different things but he does not change and I feel he is only getting worse. He does not care if he does well in school or doesn't. At home, I still have to tell him how to walk. I hope you can help me or tell me how to get through to him. I love him and all I want is the best for my son and I don't know how to give it to him. Please help.
A:I think you are already handling a difficult situation with a lot of responsibility. As for telling the truth, children do not always consider it important. They may say what is more acceptable to the adults, rather than what is true. They will grow out of it. His depression will have to be treated first and dosages of drugs etc are best discussed with the doctor. See another doctor, with all the history of illness etc. if you wish to check out the treatment. Your son's traumatic experience when he was five years old could continue to affect him, if he has not had any personal counselling or psychotherapy. Doing well in school may not be a priority for him. Try and see if there is any other activity that interests him, where he can work with his hands.