detached child
Advisor on Child Development & Education,
Chennai
Q: My son who is of 3 and half yrs old was staying with his grandparents from 5 months of his birth. Now he is very attached to them. Three weeks back he has come to our place and got admission to LKG. The problem is he doesnt like to mingle with his parents. He always wants to be with his grandparents. He is also very stubborn and doesnt listen to his parents. My question is Will he have any affection to his parents or not . As a concerned parent I want our advice on how to change his behaviour.
A:Your child has been in this world for 42 months, of which he has spent 36months with his grandparents. Would you not expect him to be attached tothem? He probably misses them a lot, wanting his familiar world and hisbeloved grand parents. Please be gentle with him and he will gradually learnto like you. Let him talk about his grand parents and tell you what he likedto eat and how he liked to play and so on. You have also put him into LKGat the same time. Those are TWO major changes in his life. The situation calls for your affection, tenderness and understanding, not for a judgementthat he is stubborn.Tell him that you know how he feels and that it isnatural to miss the people that one loves. Play games with him, read himstories and sing songs for and with him. By the next 4 to 6 months, he willbe happy with you and fond of you. Relationships take time to build up.Instead of planning to change his behaviour, if you as parents, change yoursthat would be ideal. I hope things work well. Patience and a sense of humourcan do wonders!