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What should I do to make my son study?

Friday, 17 July 2009
Answered by: Dr S Anandalakshmy
Advisor on Child Development & Education, Chennai
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Q. My 13 years old son studies in class 8 but doesn't want to study. In the afternoon after coming back from the school he spends time playing or watching TV. He doesn't study in his tuition classes too. He lies also. We have tried all methods to make him study but he doesn't listen. He promises he will study but never does it. How should I make him understand the importance of time and studies? Please suggest.

A.  As parents, you are best situated to find out about your son's motivations. You must spend more time with him and find out if he is unable to learn or unwilling to learn.

There is a big difference between the two reasons.

If you are sending him for tuition, his teacher there will also be able to throw some light on the matter. You must also meet his teachers in school and find out in detail what he does and does not do.

He may have to be seen by a Psychologist who can also help to decide the level of his abilities and the reason for his lack of attention to studies.

Nothing happens in isolation. Has his school performance been OK in earlier years? If so, he may be just having problems with his adolescent growth.

Please make the effort to do a detailed analysis of his attitude and behaviour and do not depend on instant "capsule" solutions to the current situation.

A.  As parents, you are best situated to find out about your son's motivations. You must spend more time with him and find out if he is unable to learn or unwilling to learn.

There is a big difference between the two reasons.

If you are sending him for tuition, his teacher there will also be able to throw some light on the matter. You must also meet his teachers in school and find out in detail what he does and does not do.

He may have to be seen by a Psychologist who can also help to decide the level of his abilities and the reason for his lack of attention to studies.

Nothing happens in isolation. Has his school performance been OK in earlier years? If so, he may be just having problems with his adolescent growth.

Please make the effort to do a detailed analysis of his attitude and behaviour and do not depend on instant "capsule" solutions to the current situation.

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