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Our daughter saw us having sex, what should we do?

Q: The other day me and husband were having sex and our 8-year-old daughter suddenly walked into the room. We are usually careful enough to lock the door, but last night we were so heated up that we forgot to lock the door. Since there wasn't much time to wear clothes. We covered ourselves with the blanket. Later, inspite of stopping, my husband kept on fingering me. Thereafter we ended up having sex right in front of our daughter. I am not sure if she was sleeping or pretending to be asleep. I tried speaking with her indirectly but she did not pay much attention. What was more shocking was that I overheard my daughter's conversion with a friend of hers the following day. She was telling her friend that she enjoyed watching us do it and thanked her friend for giving the suggestion. I was shocked to hear the kind of details she was explaining to her friend! My husband has not taken this seriously but I am really worried. What should I do? I don't even know if I can discuss this with my daughter or the parents of this so called friend?

A:All children are curious about sex, though not many of them from middle class families, would have witnessed a sexual intercourse at the age of 8. For families that live in a hut or one room tenement, it must be part of their daily reality. Now that she knows so much, it is best to be candid and tell her that this happens among married couples and that young children should not talk or think about it. They will grow up and eventually be involved in sex. If you have not told her how babies are made, this might be a good opportunity to tell her. You will not need the story of the birds and the bees. Even if your daughter was egged on to enter your room by a friend, I don't think that much can be achieved by talking to the friend's mother. Almost all parents think that their children are innocent and simple and it is their friends who mislead them. Be direct and factual, not angry, when talking to your daughter. But advise her to be discreet and teach her to value privacy and confidentiality.


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