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How to deal with a husband not interested in sexual intercourse?

Saturday, 14 September 2002
Answered by: S Krishnamurti
Andrologist & Microsurgeon
Andromeda Andrology Center
Hyderabad
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Q. I am married for 7 years and mother of 2 kids. My husband has started masturbating though he knows I am very much interested in sex. It is only I who intiate most of the time and usually he says no to me though he loves me very much. For the past 2 months I feel a burning sensation after intercourse and he also feels the same way. He told me that this is becuse of my pubic hair, is it possible as I am very hairy? What do I do? My husband wants to have sex early morning which is very difficult with 2 kids around. I have delivered a baby 7 months back and since then my periods are also irregular. I have also spoken to my husband about his masturbation but he says he doesn't do it intentionally, it happens. Is it possible for a person to ejaculate without masturbating? Please advice, as I am very tense.

A.  Though masturbation is perfectly normal, even among married men with good sex lives, it is quite possible in your case that your husband is avoiding sex with you and hence uses masturbation for sexual release. It is unlikely that your pubic hair is the real culprit (if so, that's a simple problem to fix). There must be some other reason. You need to communicate more openly with one another to figure out what the real problem might be and then proceed to sort it out. You need to understand one anothers needs and your environment and then decide on a mutually agreeable time for sex. There has to be some give and take. Yes, men can ejaculate even without masturbating. It can occur normally as nocturnal emissions, reflexly, or in some pathological states.

A.  Though masturbation is perfectly normal, even among married men with good sex lives, it is quite possible in your case that your husband is avoiding sex with you and hence uses masturbation for sexual release. It is unlikely that your pubic hair is the real culprit (if so, that's a simple problem to fix). There must be some other reason. You need to communicate more openly with one another to figure out what the real problem might be and then proceed to sort it out. You need to understand one anothers needs and your environment and then decide on a mutually agreeable time for sex. There has to be some give and take. Yes, men can ejaculate even without masturbating. It can occur normally as nocturnal emissions, reflexly, or in some pathological states.

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