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Can I have a sexual relation with my widowed mother-in-law?

Friday, 23 March 2007
Answered by: Dr. Sanjay Chugh
Senior Consultant Neuropsychiatrist,
Sir Ganga Ram Hospital,
New Delhi
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Q. I am a married person in my early 30s. My wife and I live with my widowed mother-in-law who is in her mid 40s. She is widowed for a long time now. She behaves very strangely with me when we are alone, exposing her while coming from the bath and also making a lot of body contact with me. Once I happened to see herself fully nude in the bathroom when I accidentally opened the door. She did not close the door intentionally or not I don't know. When I hinted this to my wife, she told me not to feel bad and that she too is a woman. Maybe she is having some desires, which is human and not to insult her for this. More surprisingly, she told me that if her mother requested for a sexual relation, I shouldn't refuse her. She is a very attractive lady but this is not very healthy. I too have felt sexually attracted her after this incident. My wife says she can get sex only from me if I agree and she does not mind this, if I am comfortable. Please advise.

A.  As humans we all possess the capacity to feel, emote and get attracted to things that are beautiful and desirous. To get attracted to someone of the opposite sex is a very natural feeling. But to see that how far does one want to go ahead and act upon those feelings is completely the individual’s prerogative. There are enough and more instances where we see people having relationships that might be unconventional by the standards set by society, religion and by principles of morality. Thus, the foremost thing for you would be to ask yourself - how comfortable would you be in such a relationship? What kind of feelings does it generate in you and how do you intend to handle those feelings? How convinced/sure are you of what you are getting into? What kind of consequences do you foresee and how prepared are you to handle them? The answers to these would automatically help you in deciding what course of action to take.

A.  As humans we all possess the capacity to feel, emote and get attracted to things that are beautiful and desirous. To get attracted to someone of the opposite sex is a very natural feeling. But to see that how far does one want to go ahead and act upon those feelings is completely the individual’s prerogative. There are enough and more instances where we see people having relationships that might be unconventional by the standards set by society, religion and by principles of morality. Thus, the foremost thing for you would be to ask yourself - how comfortable would you be in such a relationship? What kind of feelings does it generate in you and how do you intend to handle those feelings? How convinced/sure are you of what you are getting into? What kind of consequences do you foresee and how prepared are you to handle them? The answers to these would automatically help you in deciding what course of action to take.

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