Q: I am a 26 years old girl who recently got married. I was brought up in a conservative and modest environment and was given clear advice to obey my husband and in-laws. After marriage, I am confused, ashamed and having guilt feelings. This is all due to the strange behaviour of my husband because of which sometimes even suicidal thoughts come to my mind. He seems to be a normal man but his sex related habits are unbearable. He asks me to suck his penis and the surrounding area. He asks me to hold and fondle his penis. He inserts his finger in my anus. He asks me to urinate in front of him. When we are in bed, he uses foul language and asks me to use the same language. He asks me about his penis size often, such as is it big or not? I seek advice to handle the situation.

A:For a girl like you, coming from a conservative family and having such experiences can indeed be very traumatic. However, please do understand a simple fact: every human being has a different way of handling matters related to sex life. Many males have such fantasies that your husband seems to have. Obviously your upbringing has been very different and you are not able to cope with his demands. The beauty lies in striking a good balance between your husband's demands and your (acceptable) obeying for the same. The solution surely lies in seeking counselling at the earliest. Please don't get frustrated. Do not even think of ending your life because of such events. Objectively speaking, excepting one or two demands, most of the other demands and actions of your husband are rather harmless. Please give yourself some time. His initial obsession with sex will come down with a passage of time. Do not feel guilty or anything like that. Please consult a marriage counsellor at the earliest.