Q. I have been with my boyfriend for almost 5 years and we plan to get married soon. However, I have a tremendous problem with trust. I constantly think that he is lying and cheating on me. I have confronted him about this many times but he always assures me that he loves only me and would never hurt me in anyway. Recently, he has started being mad at me, every time I confront him. My parents got divorced a year ago, after many years of my father cheating on my mother and finally running off with her best friend. I am scared that the same will happen to me. That is why, I cannot trust my boyfriend. I have tried convincing myself that he is different is not cheating on me, but my mind always goes back those thoughts. I love him and know that he loves me too, but I am scared that this might destroy our relationship, as trust is the most important ingredient in a successful relationship. How can I get over this and learn to trust him?
Although what you are going through is very much a natural reaction, based on your observation of your parents relationship, but at the same time, you would have to appreciate, that all of us around us observe several issues that are of concern, but we can directly relate to them, or more so, we cant let them be directly associated with us, and if we directly impose them on our lives, it would make us very insecure and anxious about otherwise our normal transitions so do not let this have an impact on your relationship.