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How can I make sex an enjoyable experience for my wife and myself?

Saturday, 29 April 2006
Answered by: Dr. Bir Singh
Additional Professor in Community Medicine,
AIIMS,
New Delhi
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Q. I have been married for the last 3 months. We have a good sexual life till so far but the problem is that my wife seldom engages in or initiates the foreplay. While kissing also she complains as she starts feeling lack of breath. When I take the initiative she feels great while receiving and sometimes has also reached orgasm when penetration was preceded by fingering. But at the end of the intercourse I feel dissatisfied. I have tried talking to her patiently and discussed trying various positions but she is always reluctant and can't even see my penis for long. How do I pursue her so that it is an enjoyable experience for both of us?

A.  It is possible that your wife still hasn't become very open with you. It has been just three months for your marriage. We would suggest that you go easy and slow on this aspect and allow yourselves to know each other better. In due course, with your compassionate approach, she will become more at ease and sex will become more enjoyable. For a smooth and satisfying sex life, the usual relationship has to be cordial and affectionate. Sex is only an extension of that and not an abstract activity. May be, you can write to us again after 6 months or so. Our best wishes.

A.  It is possible that your wife still hasn't become very open with you. It has been just three months for your marriage. We would suggest that you go easy and slow on this aspect and allow yourselves to know each other better. In due course, with your compassionate approach, she will become more at ease and sex will become more enjoyable. For a smooth and satisfying sex life, the usual relationship has to be cordial and affectionate. Sex is only an extension of that and not an abstract activity. May be, you can write to us again after 6 months or so. Our best wishes.

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