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How to increase the libido of my wife?

Saturday, 02 August 2003
Answered by: Bir Singh
Additional Professor of Community Medicine
All-India Institute of Medical Sciences (AIIMS)
New Delhi
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Q. I am a 38 year old man , my wife is 37 years and we have a 7 year old daughter. We had a really good time after our marriage but now for the past three years my wife is not interested in sex. I have a strong desire and am capable of making love several times but my wife gets tired and refeuses. This is causing tesion and unhappiness. Is their any medicine which can increase her libdo? I found that medicines are available only for men. Please suggest.

A.  Sexual drive is different in every man and woman. To me it appears that you have a strong sexual desire whereas it is not so in your wife's case. It also appears that you are demanding and having sex more frequently than she can tolerate. As a result she is facing almost forced sex from you. That has apparently put her off and she has lost interest even further. It is not that she needs some medicines for enchancing sex desire. What she needs is considerate behaviour and gentle handling from you. Sexual intercourse done without mutual consent is neither enjoyable nor desirable. Please talk to her and understand her view point. With mutual understanding reach an agreement and decide about frequency of sexual intercourse that is acceptable to both of you. Care, concern, consideration and carefulness in these matters are pillars of a good sex life.

A.  Sexual drive is different in every man and woman. To me it appears that you have a strong sexual desire whereas it is not so in your wife's case. It also appears that you are demanding and having sex more frequently than she can tolerate. As a result she is facing almost forced sex from you. That has apparently put her off and she has lost interest even further. It is not that she needs some medicines for enchancing sex desire. What she needs is considerate behaviour and gentle handling from you. Sexual intercourse done without mutual consent is neither enjoyable nor desirable. Please talk to her and understand her view point. With mutual understanding reach an agreement and decide about frequency of sexual intercourse that is acceptable to both of you. Care, concern, consideration and carefulness in these matters are pillars of a good sex life.

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